Moving on to the Astros, the unbridled optimism I generally have going into opening day is non-existent this season. Really, I'm trying to muster some type of positive outlook about this year's version of the former Rainbow Warriors, but this is best I can do:
Phil's glass-half full outlook:
- Roy Oswalt is back in his 2005 form and gets a promise from owner Drayton McLane for a new backhoe if he wins the Cy Young.
- Lance Berkman is suddenly tearing up the plate from the right side and successfully gets his option for 2011 picked up with a clause that says he can open up a Cracker Barrel franchise in Minute Maid Park if he steals 5 bases in 2010.
- Kaz Matsui in his walk year is playing through his litany of nagging injuries. There will be a heroic moment at the end of game where he comes in to hit a game-winning bloop single despite the fact that his anal fissures have returned with a vengeance.
- Carlos Lee, gets in-season Lipo surgery in May and successfully lobbies management to move to Centerfield and arm wrestles the rights away from Berkman for the "Big Puma" nick name.
- Team goes on a bit of a run in June, solidly in 3rd place by all-star break and 8 games behind first place Cardinals. Because of this mid-season success, the Astros feel like they are one bat away from winning it all. The struggling Dodgers are able to unload Manny Ramirez on to the Astros and it only cost them five prospects and a promise to bench Manny when the Astros and Dodgers meet in September. Rush order put in on Astros' doo-rags for Manny's debut.
- Team within two games of the first place Cards, until: Carlos Lee takes Manny to Houston staple James Coney Island. World Hot dog eating champ Kobiyashi happens to be there and challenges both players to an eating contest. Both players go missing for 3 days and wind up on DL with undisclosed dietary issues.
- Oswalt sensing he is on a sinking ship demands a trade to the Atlanta Braves. McLane reluctantly agrees but only if the Braves will give him the rights to Dale Murphy and Biff Pocoroba.
- Berkman steals his 5th base and opens his Cracker Barrel at MMP. Enough said.
Astros go on to lose 17 of 18 to finish the season. Despite the final day of the season being "Dale Murphy day" the team sees a record-low home attendance of 4287. Dale Murphy wasn’t able to make it. - Team finishes 71-91.
